Picture
The most memorable moment for me was when Pastor John told us to face one wall, then face the other as we made the choice to say yes to God as Father. It was an extraordinarily powerful moment for me, and the culmination of the past couple of weeks as I had been focused on the concept of God as Father, and me as one of His beloved daughters. I found Pastor John's mannerisms amusing and personable, but more than that, I felt that he spoke with so much grace, gentleness, and frankness. His clear explanation of how we could respond to God's calling as Asian Americans pinpointed many hesitations within myself, including my need for good hygiene and knowing (and controlling!) what lies in the future. The subject of the conference brought up much for me in the past week and a half since then, where I have confronted more of my own beliefs about my failures as a "good" Chinese daughter (such as the fact that I don't attend an Ivy League but a private, liberal arts college, am majoring in English instead of computer engineering, math, or science, and haven't finished all levels of Academy or CM for piano.) 

The entire day was really amazing and incredibly personal for me; it addressed through the workshop and 'special music' time some of my personal issues with music (although I help lead worship at my college fellowship, I am very self-conscious and constantly feel inadequate in terms of my musical and leadership skills). Although I'd been thinking about attending the music in ministries workshop, I had reservations concerning it because I was afraid of my own inadequacy and thought that it only applied to professionals. After Larissa Lam sang the song she wrote, however, I repented of my hesitations- it was so heartfelt, so simple, and so true. I stood there in that auditorium weeping, shaking silently. The truth I learned, and am still learning, is that it is truly about Jesus and how He continues to show His love to us and through us. My admissions concerning my insignificance and thus an inability to reveal God through my voice, music, and way of living paled in comparison to this truth; so I went to the workshop, and had a pretty fantastic time.   

I was called to missions for the rest of my life at Urbana 2009, when a lady, the wife of one of the aid workers who was recently murdered in Afghanistan, stood up and gave her testimony. Since then, I have become steadily aware of the pettiness of my own problems, and how lacking my heart is when I face the sorrowful heart of God, who so longs for reconciliation, justice, and mercy in the world. Although I lead a Bible study and play on worship team, I am still just as inadequate, just as deficient in my heart for other people. My hope while in college is to volunteer and teach at a transition home for those who previously had no homes, and to seek (with greater intentionality and prayer) more spiritual conversations with others. I hope that one day, when I see my God and Redeemer upon the earth, He will say that my meager gift to Him is enough and that it glorifies Him.  Thank you so much for hosting this conference. 

I truly believe it was a gift from God to those who attended.     - Vicky Yang, Alhambra Christian Fellowship
2 Comments